Friday, September 19, 2014

How to Give a Cat or Dog a Pill (Funny version)

1.  Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. 

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.  As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2.  Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

 Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process, closing its mouth and stroking throat.

3. Give cat a bath, pretend to pamper and...

4.  Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.

Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.  Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5.  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.    Call spouse in from the garden.

6.  Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws.

 Ignore low growls emitted by cat.  Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden
ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7.  Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap.  Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.  Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

8.  Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.

9.  Check label to make sure pill is  not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away.
Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.  Retrieve cat from roof of neighbor's roof.

Get another pill.  Open another beer.  Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, leaving head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon.  Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11.  Offer cat bottle of vodka if it would do the favor of opening it. As it opens mouth, jam pill inside.    Fetch bottle of scotch.  Pour shot, drink. 

Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.  Apply whiskey compress
to cheek to disinfect.  Toss back another shot.  Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12.  Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the aerial antenna across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Take last pill from foil wrap.

13.  Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with
garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.  Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.
Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14.  Consume remainder of scotch.  Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room.  Sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15.  Arrange for ASPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to Give a Dog a Pill

1.  Wrap it in bacon.

2.  Toss it in the air.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Sobe, the South Beach kitten

"Don't let my serious look scare you. I'm really friendly"

SOBE (dark calico)
The Socialite, the Bobblehead, the Supermodel

Sobe is named after her home city--South Beach. She was literally plucked from a street curb underneath a car on a busy tourist street in the heart of the Art Deco district. Sobe is seven months old.  She socializes, mingles, and fits into any crowd and easily mingles with other cats, cat-friendly dogs and humans (the socialite).

Her unique trait is the way she stands and looks up at you AND turns her head around like a Bobblehead toy.

Don't be deceived by that serious face.  If anything, she's a supermodel (don't all of them have serious faces?) and knows how to strike a pose! You'll have fun taking photos of her and entering her photos into contests.  If you train her to wear a leash, you can teach her to walk in public without fearing strangers and become a celebrity cat like Lil Bub, Grumpy Cat, etc. Just takes time, patience, and consistency and you can train her in a month!

Sobe sleeps on edge of pet bed to gain Jean Pierre's trust

"I like to snuggle with other kitties"

She loves to play with her foster sister, Daffney, who is 4 weeks older.  It's always better to adopt two cats or kittens than one so they have a playmate for exercise, companionship, comfort, etc. Indoor cats need stimulation and exercise just like any other pet and human for quality of life and better health.

Sobe is vaccinated and tested negative for FIV and FeLV.  All vet records are available and yours to keep upon adoption.  The fee is $85. Or adopt both Daffney and Sobe for one adoption fee! Plus you'll also receive a Modkat WHITE litter box.  It's a sleek and stylish litter box for the modern home and prevents litter tracking!

To meet Sobe, please contact or call us at 305-771-3163.
To learn more about Daffney, click here. 

Please leave a message as we're often in the field.